Essential Exercises
"If you don't do things that make you happy, you won't be."
Self-care gets thrown around so loosely that it's lost most of its meaning. Doctors ask about sleep, diet, and exercise. Social media calls it face masks and bubble baths. None of that is what self-care actually means in the context of mental health. Self-care isn't casual—it's purposeful. It's doing the specific things that refill your emotional tank. Not things that pass the time. Not things that numb. Things that leave you genuinely feeling something positive.
The test is simple. After doing it, do you feel:
If the answer is no, it's not self-care—no matter how relaxing it looks on paper. And here's one worth calling out directly: scrolling your phone is almost never self-care. Research consistently links passive screen time to lower wellbeing. It feels like rest, but it drains rather than restores. Everyone makes sure their phone stays charged. The person holding it deserves at least the same priority.
What qualifies as self-care is entirely individual. Gardening might be deeply restorative for one person and feel like punishment for another. The same is true of literally everything on this list. The point isn't to do what sounds good in theory—it's to find what actually works for you.
Here are the main categories where people tend to find genuine self-care:
Hiking, biking, camping, kayaking, white water rafting, skydiving, roller blading, walks, running, water, star gazing, photography, rock climbing, panoramic views, boating, paddleboarding, tubing the river, rock hunting, playgrounds, parks, geocaching, gardening, community gardens, any outdoor sport, nature drive, national parks, motorcycle, yard work, making a fire, etc.
Family, chosen family, friends (not all are created equal), friends for deep talks, friends for having fun, meeting someone new, playing with your kids, volunteering, mentoring, group classes, dinner parties, game nights, double dates, reunions, support groups, community events, joining a club, attending a meetup, coaching a team, pen pals, phone calls with people you love, etc.
Pilates, hot yoga, yoga, the gym, swimming, biking, running, walking, rock climbing, motocross, stretching, dancing (formally or casually), yard work, roller blading, ice skating, snow tubing, skiing/snowboarding, workout class, pole dancing, aerial silks, etc.
Every sport: football, basketball, baseball, pickleball, tennis, racquetball, soccer, kickball, etc.
Listening to a preferred playlist, practicing an instrument, making music, singing, going to a concert, going to a fine arts concert, live music at a bar, karaoke, joining a choir, learning a new instrument, making a playlist for someone, music festivals, open mic nights, drumming circles, sound baths, vinyl record listening, discovering new genres, attending an orchestra, composing, DJing, etc.
Plays, shows, musicals, museums, painting, crafts, decorating, home decor, pottery, glass blowing, making jewelry, woodworking, metalworking, creating in any capacity, writing, drawing, dance performances, college performances of the arts, coloring, sculpting, digital art, film photography, calligraphy, journaling, scrapbooking, improv classes, stand-up comedy, screenwriting, poetry, knitting, crocheting, sewing, leather working, candle making, resin art, etc.
Prayer, scripture, service, meditation, nature, self-healing, gratitude, reading, uplifting content (movies, books, etc.), creating meaning, reiki, tarot, religion, healing substances, self-exploration, breathwork, shamanism, yoga retreats, silent retreats, journaling about purpose, studying philosophy, fasting, chanting, mantras, attending spiritual community, pilgrimages, sacred music, astrology, ceremony, acts of service, forgiveness practices, etc.
Comedy show, archery tag, movie, food fight, themed party, being silly, spontaneous trips, trying new things, new experiences, road trip, vacation, date night, clubbing, going to a bar, wine and paint night, book club, laser tag, bowling, poker night, movie marathon, cooking, baking, cleaning, organizing, ecstatic dance, motorized scooters, night games, board games, card games, video games, learning, listening to music, etc.
Horseback riding, taking a long bath or shower, smelling a nice-scented candle, hot tubbing, sauna, sensory deprivation tank, salt cave, doing nothing, pets, climbing a tree, shopping, eating, drinking, rage room, personal projects and hobbies, getting a massage, acupuncture, going for a drive with no destination, people watching at a café, rearranging a room, thrift store hunting, sunrise or sunset watching, napping in a hammock, building something with your hands, flying a kite, visiting an aquarium or zoo, etc.
Make a list. Write it down or keep it in your head, but have one. Here's why: the more overwhelmed you are, the worse your brain works, and the less likely you are to remember what actually helps. On the hardest days—the days when nothing sounds appealing—a list of 30+ things means maybe one or two will sound tolerable enough to try. That's all it takes. One tolerable thing.
Everything after the list is just awareness and action. Prevention is always easier than crisis management. Even five minutes of genuine self-care per day builds the habit. But the real goal is deeper than a daily routine—it's developing the awareness to notice when you're running low and the willingness to do something about it before you hit empty. Not taking care of yourself doesn't help you, and it doesn't help anyone around you either.
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