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    PCIT

    Parent's Guide

    Parent's Guide

    PCIT: Parent-Child Interaction Therapy

    PCIT is an evidence-based therapy for young children (ages 2-7) with behavioral challenges. What makes it unique is the live coaching—a therapist watches through a one-way mirror and coaches you through an earpiece while you play with your child. You learn skills in real-time that transform your relationship and your child's behavior. This guide teaches you the core principles to use at home.

    The Two Phases of PCIT

    Phase 1: Child-Directed Interaction (CDI)

    Focus: Building a warm, secure relationship. You follow your child's lead, give positive attention, and learn to be their biggest fan.

    Phase 2: Parent-Directed Interaction (PDI)

    Focus: Teaching your child to follow directions. You learn to give effective commands and follow through consistently.

    Important: You must master Phase 1 before moving to Phase 2. The relationship comes first—discipline only works when connection is strong.

    Phase 1: The PRIDE Skills

    These skills build connection and reduce behavior problems by filling your child's attention tank with positive interaction.

    P - Labeled Praise

    Specific, descriptive praise

    What it is: Praise that tells your child exactly what they did well.

    Instead of: "Good job!" or "That's nice."

    Try:

    • "I love how gently you're playing with that toy!"
    • "Great job sharing with your sister!"
    • "You're working so hard on that tower!"
    • "Thank you for using your inside voice!"

    Why it works: Labeled praise tells children exactly what to do MORE of. It builds self-esteem and shapes behavior.

    R - Reflection

    Repeating back what they say

    What it is: Repeating or paraphrasing what your child says.

    Child says: "I'm making a big castle!"

    You reflect: "You're building a really big castle!" or "A big castle!"

    Why it works:

    • Shows you're listening
    • Validates their thoughts
    • Encourages more talking
    • Models correct grammar naturally

    I - Imitation

    Copying what they do

    What it is: Playing alongside your child with your own materials, copying what they do.

    Examples:

    • If they stack blocks, you stack blocks nearby
    • If they draw circles, you draw circles
    • If they make their car zoom, yours zooms too

    Why it works: Imitation shows approval, lets them lead, and teaches that their ideas are worth copying. It's deeply validating.

    D - Behavioral Description

    Describing what they're doing

    What it is: Like a sportscaster, describe what your child is doing without judgment.

    Examples:

    • "You're putting the red block on top."
    • "You're driving the car around the track."
    • "You picked up the blue crayon."

    Why it works: Descriptions show interest, keep attention on your child, teach vocabulary and concepts, and help children organize their actions.

    E - Enjoyment

    Showing genuine delight

    What it is: Expressing genuine enjoyment of being with your child.

    Examples:

    • "I love playing with you!"
    • "This is so much fun!"
    • "I always have such a good time during our special play."

    Why it works: Children know when you're genuinely enjoying yourself. Real enjoyment strengthens the bond and makes them want to cooperate.

    The Avoid Skills

    What NOT to do during special playtime

    During Phase 1 (CDI), avoid:

    • Questions: Questions take the lead away from your child and feel like tests
    • Commands: No directions during special playtime—it's child-directed
    • Criticism: No negative comments, corrections, or "no"

    Instead: If they do something you don't like (that's not dangerous), simply ignore it and wait for something positive to praise.

    This is HARD. Most parents ask tons of questions. It takes practice!

    Try This: 5 Minutes of Special Time Daily

    The practice:

    • 5 minutes every day, same time
    • Get down on the floor at child's level
    • Let them choose what to play (within limits)
    • Use all PRIDE skills, avoid questions/commands/criticism
    • Set a timer—when it beeps, say "Special time is over for today"

    Track yourself: Count how many labeled praises, reflections, and descriptions you give. Aim for 10+ praises in 5 minutes!

    Key Takeaways for Parents

    • Connection before correction: Build the relationship first—discipline works better with a strong bond
    • PRIDE = positive attention: Praise, Reflect, Imitate, Describe, Enjoy
    • Avoid questions/commands/criticism: During special time, let them lead
    • 5 minutes daily beats 1 hour weekly: Consistency is key
    • Labeled praise is magic: Tell them exactly what you love
    • Get trained: Full PCIT with live coaching transforms families—find a certified therapist

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