Communication
Psychological Concepts
Communication
Communication is one of the most misunderstood concepts there is. When people have communication issues they typically assume they aren't communicating well enough when actually the opposite is true; they are, in fact, communicating TOO well.
Aspects of Communicating Emotion:
1. Words: The actual words you use account for about 7% of what is communicated to others.
2. Tone: The tone of your voice accounts for about 38% of what is communicated.
3. Body Language: 55% of what you communicate is done subconsciously through your body language.
As you can see from the information provided, if you are focusing on the words you use, you are accounting for a mere 7% of what you are communicating maximum. Even if you absolutely nailed this portion of communication, you could still fail at the other 93%, making it matter very little. Most communication occurs subconsciously which makes it extremely difficult to impossible to control on a conscious level.
How Do I Improve My Communication Then?
The simple answer? Solve your subconscious problems and you will solve your communication problems. Instead of focusing on the words you use, focus on what is causing you to become reactive, defensive, or otherwise not in a state of peace when you are communicating and resolve that within yourself before communicating. If you are in a state of peace while you communicate, then your communication is going to be as good as you can make it in that moment.
What If I'm Still Misunderstood?
You will be misunderstood and avoiding that fact will do you no favors. Everyone has different life experiences, values, personalities, definitions of words, etc. and no amount of trying to have perfect communication will get you there. Drop the perfectionist tendencies and learn to accept that you can only control yourself and learn to have your best be enough.
What Is My Best?
An easy rule of thumb is if you are not in a state of peace, you have something you could, and arguably should, work on. This requires a lot of self-awareness and dedication to healing yourself, something that few people really put forth the effort to do. While difficult, it is the absolute best way to work on your communication skills and the maximum effort that you can make to improve your communication.